Building Community and Fostering Friendships
Hey friend! I'm really glad you're here today. We're going to be talking about homeschool community—how to build it and foster friendships within it. This can be a tough subject, especially if you're introverted. For extroverts, it might be easier, but you may still need some ideas. We'll cover things that address being part of a community and building true friendships and relationships, whether you're extroverted or introverted.
Finding and Creating Community
To find and create community, a willingness to risk and be vulnerable is crucial. This isn't easy, but it's essential. People come broken, and we come broken. Striving for genuine community means being honest and real about who we are and accepting others for who they are. We all need each other on our road to maturity.
Interestingly enough, we are created to have relationships, and these relationships matter, even though they can be hard to find. Finding, creating, and behaving in community come with unique challenges and often entail moments of loneliness. We will devote a whole podcast to dealing with loneliness because we know how hard it is.
How Do We Find Community?
Consider your own lifestyle and the things you enjoy. Hope to bring other people along into those things. This is where the risk comes in—putting yourself out there and saying, "I like literature. Does anyone else want to join a literature class I'm teaching?" This is a big risk because rejection can be a part of it. But we are trying to build community not only for ourselves as moms but also for our kids. It takes time, effort, and intentionality.
For example, a family reached out to us, trying to build community. They invited us to a local pond for fishing. While our kids enjoyed it, fishing wasn't their main interest. Nonetheless, we made new friends. The parent who reached out showed courage, and despite our differences, we found common ground in homeschooling. It does take time, effort, patience, and putting yourself out there.
Trying Something New
Being willing to try something new is important. Sometimes we're scared to try things we don't know. Letting someone else take the lead is also essential. Teaching kids to enjoy someone else's interest for a while helps them learn the dynamics of friendship, which involves giving and receiving.
Receiving with Gratefulness
Receiving what others offer with gratefulness is key. For instance, a friend who loves cooking always sent us home with extra food. It took a third friend to say, "Just take it and say thank you." This taught me to receive others' gifts gratefully, realizing it’s their way to show love.
Extending and Accepting Grace
Accepting grace from others can be humbling. Once, my son accidentally broke a friend's screen door. I felt terrible and insisted on paying for it, but they extended grace, saying it was fine. Accepting their grace was difficult but necessary, and it taught me to be humble and receive help when needed.
Ministering to Others by Receiving Help
During difficult times, receiving help from others can be beneficial for both parties. It allows them to be part of your journey and encourages them. It also frees you to focus on other important tasks, making you a better mom.
Showing Up and Participating
Building community requires showing up and participating, even when it's uncomfortable. For example, after moving, it took my kids a year to feel accepted in their youth group. The pastor advised us to keep showing up and participating in activities, which eventually led to stronger connections.
Contributing to the Community
Whether starting your own group or joining an established one, contributing positively to the community is vital. Bring warmth, nurture, and encouragement rather than negativity. Your attitude can significantly impact the group's dynamic.
Humility and Behavior in Community
Humility is necessary whether you're starting a group or joining one. It involves watching, learning, and being open to building healthy relationships. Supporting each other when someone has a bad day, offering forgiveness, and extending grace are all part of building a supportive community.
Communication and Risk
Effective communication is essential. It's not about drama but about addressing issues calmly and constructively. Risking honest communication can strengthen friendships, as it did for me when I addressed a struggle with a friend, which ultimately brought us closer.
Conclusion
Building community involves risk, effort, and vulnerability. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, these principles apply. Show up, participate, communicate effectively, and be willing to both give and receive support. This creates a warm, welcoming space where friendships can thrive. Remember, it takes time and patience, but the rewards of a strong, supportive community are worth it.