Transitioning From Public School to Homeschool- How to Build Respect and a Healthy Parent-Teacher Role

When you first bring your kids home from public school to homeschool, one of the biggest challenges can be helping them see you not just as Mom or Dad, but also as their teacher.

In a traditional school setting, learning happens in a separate building with clear routines and authority figures who are not their parents. At home, those lines can feel blurred, and it’s common for children to struggle with listening or to resist taking schoolwork seriously.

This dynamic is very different for families who’ve homeschooled from the start. Kids who have never been to public school grow up seeing learning as part of daily life with Mom or Dad naturally at the center. But for kids leaving a traditional classroom, the transition can feel confusing and even uncomfortable because it disrupts their sense of how “school” is supposed to work.

The good news is that this is completely normal—and it will get better with time, consistency, and intentional effort. Here’s how to make the transition smoother for both you and your kids.

"How do I build respect and a healthy parent-teacher role when transitioning from public school to homeschool?"

Start With Healing the Relationship

When a child has been in public school, their days were filled with structure, external approval, and sometimes even stress or pressure. Teachers gave directions, graded work, and enforced rules, while parents were mostly the cheerleaders and advocates at home.

Bringing them home to homeschool changes this dynamic overnight. Kids may test boundaries because they don’t yet trust that you can fill both roles at once: the nurturing parent and the authority figure guiding their learning.

• Create space to just be together: Before diving headfirst into academics, spend time reconnecting. Go for walks, play games, bake cookies—show them that home is a safe, nurturing space for both learning and living.

• Avoid “school at home”: Your homeschool doesn’t need to replicate the public school environment. Let this be a fresh start.

The relationship matters most, especially during this transitional period. When your children feel safe, loved, and heard, they’re far more likely to accept you in the new role of teacher.

Understand Why Listening Feels Hard Right Now

In a public school classroom, children are conditioned to respond to certain signals—bells ringing, the teacher standing at the front of the room, classmates following along. At home, those external cues disappear, leaving kids unsure of how to identify what’s important.

Young children in particular may struggle to process multi-step directions or understand when you’ve shifted from “parent mode” to “teacher mode.”This isn’t disobedience as much as it’s confusion and adjustment.

Your job: Be patient and clear while they learn new patterns. Give simple, direct instructions and use consistent cues to signal when school time begins and ends.

Create a Gentle, Predictable Routine

A predictable rhythm helps your kids know what to expect and eases the transition from public school’s rigid structure to a more relaxed homeschool environment.

Limit the Choices

Children who have been in public school are used to very few choices. They’ve spent years being told where to sit, what to do, and when to do it.When suddenly given total freedom at home, they can feel overwhelmed, which often comes out as resistance or frustration.

Instead of open-ended questions like, “What do you want to do for science today?” try:

• “Would you like to read this book or watch this short video to start our science time?”

• “Do you want to use the chalkboard or your notebook for math problems today?”

Limiting the choices helps your child feel safe and confident because it gives them a sense of control without placing the weight of full responsibility on their shoulders.

Don’t Demand Perfection

Public school often trains children to equate their worth with perfect grades and performance. They may fear making mistakes or shut down when something feels too hard.At home, you have the chance to rewrite this narrative.

• Praise effort, not just results.

• Treat mistakes as part of the learning process.

• Use phrases like, “I’m proud of how hard you tried,” instead of, “You got it right!”

When kids see that your expectations are about growth rather than perfection, they relax and start to engage more deeply in learning.

Build in Breaks for Laughter and Play

Transitioning from public school doesn’t just involve academic changes—it’s also a shift in emotional energy.

In school, humor and silliness are often discouraged during lessons. At home, you can build a learning environment where laughter is part of the day.

• Include short, playful breaks between subjects: jump on a mini trampoline, do a silly dance, or have a quick round of charades.

• Read funny books or tell jokes together.

• When tensions rise, pause and share a laugh to reset the mood.

Laughter builds connection and signals to your child that learning is safe and enjoyable.

Allow for Creativity and Freedom

One of the greatest gifts of homeschooling is the freedom to be creative. Kids leaving public school often need time to rediscover their natural curiosity.

• Let them explore topics they love, even if they don’t fit neatly into a curriculum box.

• Use hands-on projects, art, and play-based learning to keep school fun.

• Encourage them to express themselves through storytelling, building, or imaginative play.

When kids are free to be silly and creative, they begin to see learning as something joyful rather than just a checklist to complete.

Be Firm With Boundaries (and Consistent Follow-Through)

When children leave public school, they sometimes view homeschooling as “less serious.” If parents aren’t consistent with boundaries, it reinforces this idea and can lead to constant power struggles.

• Set clear expectations: Explain in simple terms what needs to happen and why it matters.

• Follow through every time: If you set a rule, stick to it. Changing the boundary to avoid conflict confuses kids and erodes trust.

• Say no when needed: It’s loving to hold firm. Moving boundaries to keep the peace may seem easier now but causes bigger problems later.

Children feel secure when they know the rules are steady and predictable, just like they were in public school—only now, you are the one leading.

Discipline as Training, Not Punishment

In public school, consequences often feel external and arbitrary: lose recess, get a warning, go to the principal’s office. At home, discipline is more relational. It’s about training, not punishment.

• Focus on teaching: When rules are broken, guide your child toward better choices instead of simply “doling out consequences.”

• Use natural results: If a child mistreats materials, they take a break from using them until they’re ready to show care.

• Stay calm and steady: Your response teaches as much as the lesson itself.

Think of this as preparing them for adulthood rather than merely correcting behavior.

Practical Tips for Transitioning Kids

1. Ease into it: Start with one or two subjects and add more slowly. Overloading your child too soon can backfire.

2. Create a visual cue: A special table setup, a “school time” candle or a consistent song to play, or even a hat you wear during lessons helps signal when learning begins.

3. Celebrate small wins: Praise your child when they listen well or complete work respectfully.

4. Give grace: Remember, this is a big transition for both of you. Progress takes time.

Respect Grows With Time

If your kids came from public school, they are experiencing a major shift—not just in location, but in how they view learning and authority. Respect won’t happen overnight, but every day of consistency, connection, and clear boundaries builds it brick by brick.

By limiting choices, easing the pressure to perform perfectly, and sprinkling your days with laughter and creativity, you’re showing your children that learning can be both meaningful and joyful. Over time, they’ll come to see you not just as Mom or Dad, but as a trusted teacher and guide on their educational journey.

Remember, homeschooling is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be messy moments, but there will also be breakthroughs and beautiful memories you never could have experienced in a traditional school setting. Give yourself grace as you grow into this new role—you’re learning right alongside your children.

If you’d like more personalized guidance for your family’s unique needs, consider working with a homeschool coach. A coach can help you navigate challenges, create a plan that fits your children, and walk alongside you so you never feel alone on this journey.

You don’t have to figure this out by yourself. With time, patience, and the right support, your homeschool can flourish.